Nevertheless

Matthew 26:36-46

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. (verses 36-37) …. And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (verse 39)

We know that the disciples were exhausted on the night of Jesus’ arrest. Three times we see him crossing the garden of Gethsemane, asking them to stay awake, and finding them asleep. But thankfully, some of these witnesses preserved for us their dimly lit picture of Jesus’ spiritual anguish.

“Watch and pray,” he tells them (verse 41), and he models it. Jesus needs strength, and he knows he needs to find it in prayer. He doesn’t try to catch some sleep. He doesn’t try and ignore the inner conflict. And he doesn’t conceal these emotions from his friends. He allows them, in his prayers, to hear him ask: Father, does it really have to be this way? Is there another way out?

When we find ourselves in a life situation—it could be one night, or it could be a long season—where our trust in God is put to the test, we can bring to mind a picture of Jesus in the garden. Maybe there’s a decision to be made that seems to have no good outcome. Or something we thought God led us to do, that now seems risky or confusing, or even failed.

Are you afraid to take the next step? Are you asking God: Does it really have to be this way?

Watch and pray. Keep your eyes open, and keep them on Jesus. Let out your emotions in prayer. And cling to that pivotal word: nevertheless. Nevertheless, God, let your will be done. Regardless of my opinion, let your will be done. Regardless of my fear, my confusion, my inadequacy, let your will be done.