Jacob & Esau: Generosity of Spirit
I believe one of the qualities that mature Christians and good leaders display and encourage in others is generosity of spirit. Generosity of spirit includes graciousness, large-heartedness, forgiveness, and an awareness of and a concern for others. The opposite of generosity of spirit is a resentful, vindictive, selfish, harsh, unforgiving, or uncaring spirit. One person in the Bible who displays generosity of spirit that you might not think of right away is Esau. Esau is the older son of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis chapters 25-36). As such, he was entitled to the primary blessing and birthright of his family.
October 23, 2011
Genesis 29:1-30, Jacob and Esau: Generosity of Spirit
Doug Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church
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He lost both, because of his own weakness (Genesis 25:29-34) and his brother Jacob’s selfishness and deceit (see Genesis 27:1-45). This is what happens in Genesis 25, “Once when Jacob was cooking a stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was famished. Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stuff, for I am famished!” (Therefore he was called Edom). Jacob said, “First sell me your birthright.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said, “Swear to me first. So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank, and rose and went his way.”
While Esau demonstrates an inability to delay gratification and foolishness in trading his birthright for a bowl of lentil stew (which isn’t even that good), Jacob displays the opposite of generosity of spirit in this scene. We’d expect a sibling to respond graciously to his brother’s request to share some of the food he was cooking by saying something like, “Of course, you must be famished. Sit down and eat with me and tell me about your day.” Instead, Jacob sees his brother’s need, tiredness, and weakness as an opportunity to exploit for his own gain. Jacob displays a selfish and uncaring spirit. Then in Genesis 27 Jacob reaches a new low when he pretends to be Esau, even to the point of putting animal skins on his arms and trying to smell like his brother, so that he can deceive his father and cheat his brother out of their father’s blessing. Jacob is a conniving opportunist who doesn’t care about anyone but himself and promoting his own interests. Sadly, there are still many people like Jacob today.
What is interesting to me though is what happens with Esau. Rightly furious at what his brother has done and how he has been wronged he swears to kill Jacob once the days for mourning their father have passed (Genesis 27:41). Jacob flees for his life and the brothers do not see each other again for many years until Jacob once again has to flee after his uncle Laban and his family becomes resentful toward Jacob. That brings us to the next scripture in which, after many years apart, the brothers once again come face to face.
Genesis 33:1-15
“Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. 2 He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. 3 He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.
4 But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. 5 When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” 6 Then the maids drew near, they and their children, and bowed down; 7 Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down; and finally Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down. 8 Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company that I met?” Jacob answered, “To find favor with my lord.” 9 But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” 10 Jacob said, “No, please; if I find favor with you, then accept my present from my hand; for truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God—since you have received me with such favor. 11 Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have everything I want.” So he urged him, and he took it.
12 Then Esau said, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go alongside you.” 13 But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds, which are nursing, are a care to me; and if they are overdriven for one day, all the flocks will die. 14 Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, according to the pace of the cattle that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”
15 So Esau said, “Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “Why should my lord be so kind to me?”
Jacob is fearful and worried about what sort of welcome he will get from his brother Esau and his fears increase when his messengers tell him (Genesis 32:6), “We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.” However, Jacob is stunned when his brother Esau displays the kind of attitude and behavior that have been so lacking in Jacob’s own life. After being terribly wronged and having every reason to take revenge, to be resentful, to be bitter, Esau displays great generosity of spirit. He doesn’t attack Jacob, far from it. Genesis 33:4 says, “But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.” The father in Jesus’ well-known parable of the father with two prodigal sons in Luke 15 behaves very much like Esau in the way he welcomes home his son. Luke 15:20 reads, “But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him.”
I think it is very significant to notice that in both Genesis 33 and Luke 15, the one who was wronged, the one who was hurt, takes the initiative, runs to the other, embraces him, and in doing so opens the door to forgiveness, reconciliation, and a renewed relationship. This may be difficult for some of us to accept or believe and even more difficult for some of us to do. When we’re wronged we may get defensive and sensitive think more about getting even or revenge than generosity of spirit. There may be part of us that says, “No way would I do that. I am the victim. I was the one who was wronged. I’m the one who was hurt, lied to, cheated, and suffered. She needs to come to me, he needs to take the first step, and say, ‘It’s my fault, I was wrong, I’m sorry.’ Until that happens, no way am I letting go, no way am I moving an inch.” This is an approach that many people choose to take. If it is one that you may have taken or may even be taking at the moment, I would simply ask you to reflect on how well that approach is working. How is it contributing to your physical, mental, and spiritual health? Is it serving you well or hurting you? Each of us can only answer that question for our selves.
Esau comes to meet his brother after years of separation. Jacob tries to buy his brother’s forgiveness with a huge gift. At first Esau doesn’t accept it or take it, and take note of what he doesn’t say. He doesn’t say, “Well it doesn’t make up for the birthright and dad’s blessing, but it’ll do.” He doesn’t say, “It’s about time, you should have,” or “Is that all?” Instead he says, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” Esau only accepts the gift when Jacob urges him to do so and then Esau offers to provide protection to Jacob and all who are with him saying, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go alongside you.” Don’t miss the power in that statement. Esau’s generosity of spirit extends to wanting to journey on and accompany his brother Jacob. Esau is making it clear to his brother that he is not only putting a nice front for a momentary, polite, surface reunion. He is extending himself and offering renewed relationship. “Let us journey on our way, and I will go alongside you.” It is “our way” and he will be alongside Jacob, truly brothers, perhaps for the first time in their lives. It really is a beautiful picture.
Jacob protests that won’t be necessary, they move so slowly with all the kids and the young animals. Esau again generously offers to help by providing an escort from his men to protect Jacob and his family and property. “Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” Jacob is truly dumbstruck by the love and generosity of spirit that his brother shares with him leaving him only to look at his brother with wonder and ask, “Why should my lord be so kind to me?” I believe it is generosity of spirit which is a version of love in action that motivates Esau. Alan Cohen said, “We believe we are hurt when we don’t receive love. But that is not what hurts us. Our pain comes when we do not give love. We were born to love. You might say that we are divinely created love machines. We function most powerfully when we are giving love. The world has led us to believe that our wellbeing is dependent on other people loving us. But this is kind of upside down thinking that has caused so many of our problems. The truth is our well being is dependent on our giving love. It is not about what comes back; it is about what goes out!”
Esau seems to have learned this truth. Jacob is so stunned by Esau’s love and generosity of spirit he says, “Truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God—since you have received me with such favor.” In one of the most poignant songs and scenes in the musical Les Miserables, it is said, “To love another person is to see the face of God.” That is what Jacob experiences in the generous way Esau receives and welcomes him.
While we all still may have much room to grow in the area of generosity of spirit in our own lives and behavior I believe it is one of the strengths of our church overall. While it is not just financial, we see this expressed in our World Mission Offering that supports our missionaries in their work around the world; in the hundreds of people who work to make the Holiday Fair on November 5 a success so that we may help our neighbors in need; in Operation Christmas Child and the Brewster Business Person’s luncheon.
Susan Smyth, a consultant, wrote on a blog about Generosity of Spirit and she concluded by saying, “If generosity of spirit isn’t already your thing, start small. Look for a way to delight someone you love. When you get good at that, look for a way to be generous to someone about whom you feel neutral – someone you just met, perhaps. When you get good at that, go for the biggie.
Think about an enemy. Find a way to offer generosity of spirit toward the person that you dislike. This is the essence of the practice involving the prayer of loving kindness. It is a spiritual practice that allows you to have the same acceptance of
your enemies that you have of your loved ones. Many of us gag at the concept. Yet it is a powerful source of inner peace and strength. We don’t have to be perfect at this in order to be generous of spirit. But it does entail sometimes relinquishing a scorecard mentality.
After you become good at discovering generosity of spirit, take the step to recognize and reward it. Practice the phrase, “Good job.” Thank the person. Write a note. If public recognition isn’t right in the situation, quietly let the person know you noticed what they did and are pleased about it. Being generous with praise, letting go of control, resisting the urge to retaliate, and a long list of other behaviors are free and require no one’s energy but your own. If you’d like to sleep better and smile more often, give generosity of spirit a try.”
As you think about your own life as a Christian as well as other people, I encourage you to use generosity of spirit as a good, Biblical standard.
Blessing
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be with you all. Amen. 2 Corinthians 13:14