Jacob and Laban: Honesty

When you were growing up did you ever hear, “Honesty is the best policy.” How many people believe that? How many people practice that? All the time without exception? Honestly? How much is honesty practiced in our lives and in our country? A lack of honesty hurts everyone; it undermines trust, impairs relationships, and increases hostility between people.

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October 16, 2011
Genesis 29:1-30, Jacob and Laban: Honesty
Doug Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church

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One of the legends some of us were told when we were young was about George Washington cutting a cherry tree and when confronted by his father, saying “I cannot tell a lie,” and acknowledging his guilt. A century later American author Mark Twain quipped, “I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle.  Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won’t.”

Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”

Singer songwriter Billy Joel had a hit song, Honesty, with the refrain, “Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you.”

One of the tough things about honesty is Jefferson may have called it “the first chapter in the book of wisdom,” Billy Joel lamented about everyone being so untrue and honesty being what he needed, but that didn’t prevent both Jefferson and Joel from being less than honest in and about their most important relationships.

Knowing the importance of honesty is no guarantee that we will actually be honest. Honesty is telling the truth. Honesty is straightforward conduct.

Honesty is being sincere, truthful, trustworthy, honorable, fair, and genuine.
Honesty was somewhat lacking in Jacob’s family that we read about in Genesis. His father lied about Sarah being his wife. Jacob conspired with his mother to lie to and deceive Jacob and to steal his father’s deathbed blessing from his brother Esau. There is an old saying, “What goes around, comes around.” This is what happened to Jacob. He lied to and deceived his brother and then fled for his life. Then this happens:

“Then Jacob hurried on, finally arriving in the land of the east. ² He saw a well in the distance. Three flocks of sheep and goats lay in an open field beside it, waiting to be watered. But a heavy stone covered the mouth of the well.

³ It was the custom there to wait for all the flocks to arrive before removing the stone and watering the animals. Afterward the stone would be placed back over the mouth of the well. ⁴ Jacob went over to the shepherds and asked, “Where are you from, my friends?”

“We are from Haran,” they answered.

⁵ “Do you know a man there named Laban, the grandson of Nahor?” he asked.

“Yes, we do,” they replied.

⁶ “Is he doing well?” Jacob asked.

“Yes, he’s well,” they answered. “Look, here comes his daughter Rachel with the flock now.”

⁷ Jacob said, “Look, it’s still broad daylight—too early to round up the animals. Why don’t you water the sheep and goats so they can get back out to pasture?”

⁸ “We can’t water the animals until all the flocks have arrived,” they replied. “Then the shepherds move the stone from the mouth of the well, and we water all the sheep and goats.”

⁹ Jacob was still talking with them when Rachel arrived with her father’s flock, for she was a shepherd. ¹⁰ And because Rachel was his cousin—the daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother—and because the sheep and goats belonged to his uncle Laban, Jacob went over to the well and moved the stone from its mouth and watered his uncle’s flock. ¹¹ Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and he wept aloud. ¹² He explained to Rachel that he was her cousin on her father’s side—the son of her aunt Rebekah. So Rachel quickly ran and told her father, Laban.

¹³ As soon as Laban heard that his nephew Jacob had arrived, he ran out to meet him. He embraced and kissed him and brought him home. When Jacob had told him his story, ¹⁴ Laban exclaimed, “You really are my own flesh and blood!”

 

After Jacob had stayed with Laban for about a month, ¹⁵ Laban said to him,

“You shouldn’t work for me without pay just because we are relatives. Tell me how much your wages should be.” ¹⁶ Now Laban had two daughters. The older daughter was named Leah, and the younger one was Rachel. ¹⁷ There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes,^* but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. ¹⁸ Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.”

¹⁹ “Agreed!” Laban replied. “I’d rather give her to you than to anyone else. Stay and work with me.” ²⁰ So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.

²¹ Finally, the time came for him to marry her. “I have fulfilled my agreement,” Jacob said to Laban. “Now give me my wife so I can marry her.”

²² So Laban invited everyone in the neighborhood and prepared a wedding feast. ²³ But that night, when it was dark, Laban took Leah to Jacob, and he slept with her. ²⁴ (Laban had given Leah a servant, Zilpah, to be her maid.)

²⁵ But when Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?” ²⁶ “It’s not our custom here to marry off a younger daughter ahead of the firstborn,” Laban replied. ²⁷ “But wait until the bridal week is over, then we’ll give you Rachel, too—provided you promise to work another seven years for me.” ²⁸ So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. A week after Jacob had married Leah, Laban gave him Rachel, too. ²⁹ (Laban gave Rachel a servant, Bilhah, to be her maid.) ³⁰ So Jacob slept with Rachel, too, and he loved her much more than Leah. He then stayed and worked for Laban the additional seven years.”

What was going on with Jacob, how much wine had he drunk, that he couldn’t even tell that the woman he was given on his wedding night was not the beautiful woman he had worked for seven long years to marry, but her older sister? That’s bad. Clearly, Laban planned all along to use Jacob’s desire for Rachel to get his less marketable daughter Leah out of his tent. Laban thinks he comes out ahead by marrying off both his daughters and getting fourteen years of Jacob’s work at the same time. Obviously and conveniently Laban never mentioned while Jacob worked for him for seven years that it wasn’t their custom to marry off a younger daughter before the older one. Jacob, the deceiver who lied, is lied to and deceived. He gets a taste of his own medicine and he is enraged. Laban doesn’t appear to care that what he has done has guaranteed that his oldest daughter Leah will be stuck for the rest of her life being married to a man who loves someone else more than he loves her and, worst of all, that person happens to be her younger sister. Rachel is stuck being one of her husband’s two wives and knows she will never get away from her older sister.

Laban’s lack of honesty impacts his daughters, their maids, his son-in-law, and in time, all of his grandchildren. Lying like honesty influences those around us and has consequences not only for ourselves, but for others as well. By being dishonest Laban sows seeds of conflict that will grow and spread for years. Some of us know what it is like to grow up or live in a household where honesty is not taught or practiced, when that is the case, conflict usually follows.

The willingness to lie, cheat and be dishonest is ancient. In Leviticus 19:35-36a God warns, “You shall not cheat in measuring length, weight, or quantity. ³⁶ You shall have honest balances, honest weights, an honest ephah, and an honest hin.” One of the very first radio spots I did for BBC was about a woman who went up to a butcher and asked for a chicken. The butcher reached into a barrel, pulled out the last chicken he had and put it on the scale. The woman shook her head and said, “I was hoping for one a little heavier than that.” The butcher put the chicken back in the barrel, pretended to fish around for another one, pulled out the same chicken and put it on the scale along with a discreet yet well-practiced thumb. It was just the weight the woman wanted. She smiled and said, “Thank you, I’ll take them both.”

Honesty still is the best policy. Honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. In Deuteronomy 16:19-20 God says, “You must not distort justice; you must not show partiality; and you must not accept bribes, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and subverts the cause of those who are in the right. Justice, and only justice, you shall pursue, so that you may live and occupy the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

Deuteronomy 25:15-16, “You shall have only a full and honest weight; you shall have only a full and honest measure, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. ¹⁶ For all who do such things (cheat in weights and measures), all who act dishonestly, are abhorrent to the Lord your God.” This is also mentioned multiple times in Proverbs and in Ezekiel.

One form of dishonesty is in cheating in ways like these related to our work or business. In the musical Les Miserables which a group of BBC folks will be going to November 1, one of the best known songs is Master of the House, by and about the dishonest landlord Monsieur Thenardier. It begins,

“Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of ’em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see Honest men like me
A gent of good intent Who’s content to be, Master of the house…”

He then goes on detailing all the ways he’s dishonest.

In Luke 3:12-14 folks are coming to John the Baptist to be baptized and John encourages them to be honest, “Even tax collectors came to be baptized, and they asked him, “Teacher, what should we do?” ¹³ He said to them, “Collect no more than the amount prescribed for you.” ¹⁴ Soldiers also asked him, “And we, what should we do?” He said to them, “Do not extort money from anyone by threats or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages.”

Another form of dishonesty beyond stealing, corruption, and theft is lying.

Homer (Simpson, not the ancient Greek said), “It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.” One part of honesty is not just what we say but what we refuse to listen to or how we respond when someone lies, slanders, misleads, or gossips about someone else in our presence. Job says, 27:3-4, “As long as my breath is in me and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit.” How great it would be if the same could be said of all of us.

An ancient Greek story tells of a woodcutter who accidentally dropped his axe into a river and, because this was his only means of making a living, he sat down and wept. Taking pity on him, the god Hermes (better known as Mercury) went into the water and returned with a golden axe. Hermes asked, “Was this the axe you lost?” The woodcutter says, “No, it is not.” Hermes brings a silver axe to the surface and asks, “Was this the axe you lost?” The woodcutter again says, “No, it is not.” Only when his own tool is produced does the woodcutter claim it. Impressed by his honesty, Hermes allows him to keep all three. Hearing of the man’s good fortune, an envious neighbor threw his own axe into the river and wailed for its return. When Hermes appeared and offered him a golden axe, the man dishonestly and greedily claimed it, but was denied both it and the return of his own axe.

Proverbs 12:22 reminds us, “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.”

Proverbs 4:23-24, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.”

Here are some ways we can do this in our own life

Be honest with yourself

Accept responsibility for your own actions; don’t blame others.

Be honest about your feelings.

Face issues as they arise.

If you are considering lying, try to think of the consequences.

When confronted with a situation, think of others and not just yourself.

Put honesty into action

• Thank someone in your family for being honest.
• Tell your parents about a mistake you’ve made.
• Tell the truth when you’ve done something wrong.
• Compliment a friend for being honest.
• Express your real feelings without anger, without blaming others, without exaggerating, and without hurting the feelings of someone else.
• Turn in something that is lost and encourage others to do the same.
• Admit a mistake or error in judgment you have made and apologize to anyone it might have affected.
• Do your schoolwork honestly
• Be truthful with your friends and thank them for being truthful with you.
• When you ask someone to be honest with you, don’t get angry with them if their honesty isn’t what you wanted to hear.

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. She did and said, ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

8 great reasons to be honest and tell the truth

1. Telling the truth lets everyone know what really happened. There’s less chance of misunderstandings, confusion, or conflict.
2. Telling the truth protects innocent people from being blamed or punished.
3. Telling the truth allows everyone to learn from what happened.
4. You usually get into less trouble for telling the truth than for lying (and getting caught).
5. Other people trust you more when you tell the truth.
6. You don’t have to tell more lies to keep your story straight.
7. You gain a reputation for being truthful – a trait that most people value.
8. Telling the truth helps you feel secure and peaceful inside.

 

The Question: If the whole world were as honest and truthful as you ––How much better would the world be? Hopefully a lot better.

Shakespeare in Much Ado About Nothing, wrote, “It is said of Benedick “He is of a noble strain, of approved valour and confirmed honesty.”

It would be nice to have that said of us because as Alexander Pope wrote,

“An honest man’s the noblest work of God.”

 

Blessing

Do your best always to have a clear conscience toward God and all people.

Wrong no one, corrupt no one, take advantage of no one.

Do what is right not only in the Lord’s sight but also in the sight of others

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things

and the God of peace will be with you.

Adapted from Acts 24:16; 2 Cor. 7:22, 8:21; Philippians 4:8-9.