Being A Refreshing Presence
Today I’m beginning a summer series on the theme Stepping Out in Faith. That’s something we need to do both as individuals and as a church. Throughout the next few months we’ll be looking at people in the Bible and in our own time who demonstrate faith and courage in circumstances that are often challenging and demanding. While some of the people I preach about will be familiar to you, like Peter, I’ve intentionally selected other individuals who are far less well known. In fact, I’ll bet most us have no recollection of hearing the name of today’s character, Onesiphorus (ohn-uh-sif’uh-ruhs), much less of hearing a sermon about him.
June 15, 2014
2 Timothy 1:16-18, Being A Refreshing Presence
Doug Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church
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In the verses that immediately precede today’s scripture, Paul laments “that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus (fi’-juh-luhs) and Hermogenes (huhr-mah’-juh-neez).” It’s depressing and draining to feel abandoned; to feel that those you supported, cared for, mentored, gave opportunity to, and helped as Paul did for these two people, aren’t there for you when you want and need their support. According to 2 Timothy 1:8, Paul is a prisoner and it’s easy to feel abandoned when one is imprisoned, stuck behind bars, and unable to go anywhere or to see anyone. The only way you can see someone is if they come to you. And apparently everyone in Asia has left Paul with no personal visits, letters of encouragement, or material assistance. At the close of 2 Timothy 4:10, 16, Paul will repeat how he was deserted and unsupported. Paul contrasts the desertion of Phygelus (fi’-juh-luhs) and Hermogenes (huhr-mah’-juh-neez) with the exemplary actions of Onesiphorus. Listen to 2 Timothy 1:16-18.
“May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus,
Because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chain;
when he arrived in Rome, he eagerly searched for me and found me, –
May the Lord grant that he will find mercy from the Lord on that day!
And you know very well how much service he rendered in Ephesus.”
Paul commends Onesiphorus for four specific things that we can learn from and do ourselves. First, Paul says, “He refreshed me” – he expressed kindness in tangible, practical ways. The ministry of refreshment was vitally important to Paul. In Romans 15:32 Paul writes of his hope, “that by God’s will I may come to you with joy and be refreshed in your company.” In 1 Cor. 16:17-18, “I rejoice at the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus (uh-kay’ uh-kuhs), because they have made up for your absence; for they refreshed my spirit as well as yours. So give recognition to such persons.” In Philemon 1:7,20, “I have indeed received much joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, my brother. Yes, brother, let me have this benefit from you in the Lord! Refresh my heart in Christ.” The ministry of refreshment is vitally important to Paul and to us. It’s simply a pleasure to be with nice people who express kindness in practical ways.
I’m always grateful when people refresh my spirit by expressing kindness to me in practical ways and a number of people have done so just recently. Melanie Stone came over to our house and repainted the front of our garage around the doors so it would look nice when our families came for Greg’s big weekend. Sal Pearson helped us clean the house and made us cookies. Susan Logsdon and Marilyn Raatz took time to bake pies and make salads get everything set up for us last Sunday while we were at the high school for graduation. Ron and Fran Rich took Greg and I out fishing with Captain Len on Wednesday and it was nice to get out of the office and out on the water and to eat black sea bass and smoked blue fish for several days. All these people likely would prefer to remain anonymous, but I’m doing what Paul did – acknowledging and thanking people who refreshed my spirit by their kindness.
There was a great article in The Atlantic this week called Masters of Love which is about the importance of kindness in a marriage. According to researchers, kindness and paying positive attention are the most important predictors of whether a marriage will last. Being kind to one another and being a refreshing presence for other people by expressing kindness in tangible, practical ways makes a lasting difference. Kindness makes life better for everyone and it has an even greater impact on people like Paul who feel abandoned by others.
The second thing Paul says about Onesiphorus is that “He was not ashamed of my chain” – true friends stick with us in tough times as well as good times. It’s an old saying because it’s true that often we find out who our friends truly are when we’re going through tough times. When we’re hurting or feeling deserted or abandoned we can find it hard to ask for help or to let people know our situation. Especially if we have done something that wasn’t too smart and landed ourselves in front of a judge or had our name in the paper not for a good reason or even if we end up behind bars like Paul – having people still care for us, even if they don’t approve of what we did – is incredibly helpful. Onesiphorus wasn’t ashamed that Paul was in jail and if he had any fear about visiting Paul in prison or being associated with him his loyalty, friendship, and courage were more than enough to overcome any hesitation he had.
Can you think of a time when you stood by a friend in a tough situation or when someone stood by you? In the movie 42 about Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in Major League baseball there’s a scene in which he is being subjected to vile, hateful, racist taunts from the crowd and his teammate Pee Wee Reese goes over and puts his arm around Robinson’s shoulders and stands there with him. His expression of solidarity had a big impact on Robinson and sent a clear message to the crowd. True friends stick with us in tough times as well as good times.
The third thing Paul commends Onesiphorus for is “when he arrived in Rome, he eagerly searched for me and found me” – he was proactive and diligent in expressing support. One of thetelevision shows that Jill’s mom watches is The Amazing Race which is a reality game show in which eleven teams of two people, who have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world for approximately 25 days. At every destination, each team must compete in a series of challenges, some mental and some physical, and only when the tasks are completed do they learn of their next location. Teams who are the farthest behind are gradually eliminated as the contest progresses, with the first team to arrive at the final destination winning $1 million. The pressure of avoiding elimination and the lure of winning the prize drive the individuals to be proactive and diligent, if they want to be successful. They need to be like Onesiphorus who eagerly searched for Paul until he found him.
Can we be as proactive and diligent in expressing support to people who need it as TV contestants are trying to win some money? It requires we keep our eyes open and that we notice the people around us; that we keep our ears open and try to hear what people are saying, how they’re saying it, and even what they’re not saying. Imagine being Paul and stuck in prison in Rome, how amazed and encouraged would you be to suddenly hear, “You have a visitor.” How thankful do you think Paul was to see a friendly face and to hear a voice that was warm and comforting and would pray with him and for him? We can have the same influence; we can be the presence of Christ to others like Onesiphorus. In some cases it may be visiting someone in prison, a nursing home, the hospital, or their home or it can happen in the course of our day multiple times if we look for opportunities.
I was standing in the checkout line at The Christmas Tree shop in Orleans yesterday and in front of me there was a mom with three kids – two girls, maybe twelve and nine, and a boy who was probably three-years old. He was in sitting in the cart with some of the items they were buying and you could tell by his voice and his body language he wasn’t happy. So I started a conversation by asking, “How much are boys selling for today? What aisle did you find him in?” His somewhat exasperated mother replied, “They’re free, you can have him for nothing.” I made eye contact with the boy and said, “Well, boys just don’t like shopping, it isn’t any fun is it?” And I had his attention. His mom noticed I only had one item and graciously offered to let me go ahead of them. I assured her I was totally fine, it was more important that she was able to get through quickly. I continued to talk to the boy and his mom until they were all checked out and went outside. Because I only had one item I was out the door pretty much right behind them and I talked to them as we went to our cars. I don’t know if it made a difference or not, but I’d like to hope that by proactively expressing support for the boy and his mom that they were less stressed after our conversation than they were before.
The fourth thing Paul commends Onesiphorus for is “And you know very well how much service he rendered in Ephesus.” – Onesiphorus was committed to serving others and blessing them. Paul Tournier wrote, “The greatest tragedy in life is that most people spend their entire lives indefinitely preparing to live.” Onesiphorus didn’t indefinitely prepare to live – he lived – he engaged with life. He was diligent, proactive, supportive, and he served the Lord and other people in such a significant way that Paul could say in a letter, “You know very well how much service he rendered.” If I had to guess what his primary spiritual gifts were I’d say encouragement, helps, and giving. I’m grateful that we have many people at BBC who have a similar spirit – who render so much service mostly behind the scenes – often unobserved or known only to a few of us. Christians who are refreshing, courageous, and proactive – leave a legacy of service.
This past June 6 was the 70th anniversary of D-Day, the Allied invasion of France during WWII. The American cemetery in Colleville-sur-Mer overlooking Omaha Beach is an intensively moving place to visit. Jill and I went there when I was on sabbatical eleven years ago. It was powerful, sad and inspiring all at the same time. In the cemetery’s chapel there’s a quote, ““Through The Gate of Death may They Pass, To Their Joyful Resurrection. Think not only upon Their Passing, Remember The Glory of Their Spirit.”
By the time 2 Timothy was written, it appears that Onesiphorus had died and part of what Paul is doing is remembering the glory of his spirit. Paul’s words, “May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus,” imply that he has passed away and the words of commendation and affirmation that follow are almost like a eulogy. The Greek root of Onesiphorus means “to bring advantage; to be the recipient of a favor or benefit, to have something for one’s use; to have benefit of a thing that is the source of joy.” He was a source of favor, benefit, and joy to others and we can be too. We can choose in every circumstance to be kind and do things that “refresh” other people and make them feel better and happier as well.
A closing example, Mike “Doc” Emrick is not only the best play-by-play announcer in hockey, but he’s also a pretty cool person. Ed Sherman of USA Today writes that in the midst of Doc Emrick’s busiest time of the year — the Stanley Cup playoffs (which ended this week) – Emrick is still making time to write a handwritten letter every single day to someone who made a lasting impact on him, Sherman notes that these thank-you notes range from colleagues to former high school classmates to neighbors to people in the business he met when he was just starting off. “There’s so much that people did for you along the way that they probably thought was nothing at all,” Emrick said. “I wanted to tell them what it meant to me. It seemed like something that needed to be done.” Emrick, who missed Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final due to a death in the family but returned for Game 2, said he got the inspiration from his brother, Dan. Their parents were both teachers and Dan arranged for their former students to write them letters that “showed they made a difference.” Emrick has already penned notes to his former neighbors in New Jersey who he called “The Wayne Gretzky of neighbors,” and a radio analyst who let Emrick tag along to games with him when he was in college and he isn’t even close to being done. “I figure it is going to take me a couple of years if I do 365 per year,” Emrick said, “just because I keep thinking of people who made a difference in my life.”
In 2 Timothy, Paul wrote a thank you note to honor Onesiphorus. All of us can write thank you notes to people who have touched our live like Onesiphorus touched Paul or the hundreds of people who impacted Mike Emrick. Today is Father’s Day and I want to conclude by saying that all four things Onesiphorus did for Paul, I’d be willing to bet he did for his family.
He expressed kindness in tangible, practical ways.
He stuck with and stood by his family in tough times as well as good times.
He was proactive and diligent in expressing support.
He was committed to serving others and blessing them. A father could do a lot worse than to commit himself to doing those four things for his family on a daily basis. I’d even say that a father who does these four things regularly for his family will have the grateful love of his wife, the gratitude of his children, and the loyalty and support of his friends.
Let’s pray:
Lord inspire us to follow the example of Onesiphorus and help us to share:
Our Friendship with those who need it.
Our Love with those close to us.
Our Thanks with those who deserve it.
Our Encouragement with those whose confidence is wavering.
Our Support with those who seek it.
Our Respect with those who have earned it.
Our Understanding with those whose views differ.
Our Comfort with those who suffer illness.
Our Consolation with those who grieve.
Our Time with causes we deem worthy.
These are gifts we can all afford to give. None is beyond our means, none has to be gift-wrapped, and none needs to be exchanged for size or color preference.
A gift of oneself is precious not only to the recipient, but enriches the giver as well. God help us to be your gifts in Jesus’ name. Amen.
For Reflection or Discussion
- Have you ever felt abandoned and deserted in a tough moment in your life like Paul did when he was in prison (2 Timothy 1:8)? What was going on for you?
- Paul prays that the Lord will show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus because of all the ways that he supported Paul. How would you feel as a member of Onesiphorus’s family to know that Paul was singling out your family member for his steadfast support?
- Paul commends Onesiphorus for four specific things that we can learn from and do ourselves. Paul says: “He refreshed me” He expressed kindness in tangible, practical ways.
The second thing Paul says about Onesiphorus is that “He was not ashamed of my chain” – true friends stick with us in tough times as well as good times.
The third thing Paul commends Onesiphorus for is “when he arrived in Rome, he eagerly searched for me and found me” – he was proactive and diligent in expressing support.
The fourth thing Paul commends Onesiphorus for is “And you know very well how much service he rendered in Ephesus.” – Onesiphorus was committed to serving others and blessing them.
Think about some ways you can be like Onesiphorus this coming week.