What’s Necessary?
Having just come though Thanksgiving, I was drawn to this morning’s text because it is so relatable. Some might say it’s an example of dysfunctional dinners, deadlines and other company related disasters, which all seem multiplied during the holidays.
If you could choose anyone to come for thanksgiving dinner at your house, who would you choose? Would you choose Jesus?
I know me and I imagine I would be freaked out by the pressure, especially if I wasn’t planning on it and found out with short notice that he was on his way.
I have often thought, oh Lord, if only I could see you and talk with you face to face. If only you would come to my kitchen and grab a cup of coffee or tea, and sit at the table with me and talk to me… the truth is, I’m not sure how I would really feel about it if that really happened.
November 25, 2012
Luke 10:38-42, What’s Necessary?
Pastor Mary Scheer, Brewster Baptist Church
What’s Necessary? from BBC Staff on Vimeo.
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It’s one thing to talk with an unseen God, but to have to make him dinner and make him comfortable in your home?
That’s just what happened with Martha and Mary. The living son of God, and a group of his friends came to their house for dinner and a visit.
Sermon Scripture: Luke 10: 38-42 “As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (NLT)
Every year around thanksgiving the story of these two women comes to mind because that’s when the holiday craziness starts.
The holidays come with pressure, procedures, preparations and presentation that can un-nerve even the most experienced host and hostess.
Think about all the things to be done before company comes…the flooring industry is hopes you will have your floors updated, or at the very least professionally cleaned. I have been listening to the same commercial from Empire Carpets since I was little.
Decorations that were carefully packed away, are hung and displayed in just the right way. Menu’s are planned, and coupons clipped, magazines and web sites feature the best holiday tips. The table is given a lot of care, with the very dishes and table cloth there.
For many, thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, carry a lot weight and call for celebration.
But I can’t think of any occasion that would carry as much weight as having Jesus come for supper.
While on their way, Jesus and the disciples came to the town of Bethany and the home of Martha, and Mary and Martha welcomed him into her home.”
Saying she “welcomed him into her home” indicates that Martha was the owner / head of the home.
“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”
Preparations had to be made because cultural rules about hospitality. Hospitality was recognized as righteousness.
A guest was treated with respect and honor, and was provided with food for his animals, water for his feet, rest and a sumptuous feast. He enjoyed protection even if he were an enemy, for three days, after eating with the host.
The rules of hospitality meant Martha would do her best to take care of them and make them comfortable in her home.
She felt the weight of the company in her living room. Wouldn’t you if you were facing the question of what to feed Jesus and his friends for dinner?
This pressure led to a clash over differing expectations and unmet needs.
In Old Testament times, almost every pact or covenant was sealed with a common meal. Food was also given as gifts and payment of service. Food was very important.
And she needed a lot of food to feed this group. Jesus and the twelve disciples, Mary, Martha and Lazarus meant she had to prepare a meal for 15 people.
I wonder if she have enough food on hand, or did she have to borrow from her neighbors?
She couldn’t just reach in her refrigerator or freezer and take out some more steaks to defrost in her microwave.
And she couldn’t just pick up the phone and order a few more pizza’s.
No, she had to get busy.
- She had to bring in water
- make the bread
- cut vegetables
- cook the meat.
More than likely she would have served quail, goat, sheep or fish.
And she probably would have roasted it rather than boiling because that’s what they did for special occasions.
She may have made wheat bread if she was wealthy, barley bread if she were poor and eggs, olives, onions, beans or lentils, which had been boiled into pottage.
For desert, perhaps fig or honey cakes, pomegranate, apples or grapes.
Our traditional thanksgiving menu’s are a bit different from Martha’s.
Our family, like many others, has special dishes that we only make on holidays.
We have Turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Ham on Easter. I make the same side dishes for these meals that my mother and grandmother did.
Last year we had a near catastrophe when we could not find peppermint ice cream. Dave and the kids scoured stores.
I called Blue Bunny and other ice cream distributors and learned there was less demand, so stores were sent less, they sold out early.
The thought of going without was so unthinkable that I made my own. With a lot of crushed candy canes, red food coloring and vanilla ice cream.
I know it seems silly, but you can’t imagine the stress this caused. Why?
- It’s not just that our family fancies peppermint ice cream, (though we do)
- It’s not just because we have special depression era glass from my mother and grand-mother, used only on these two days a year and only for peppermint ice cream, (though we do)
- it’s because it represents a whole host of stories and traditions that meant we had to have peppermint ice cream, even if it meant making it myself.
The idea of failed expectations can be too much for us and drive us to do things we later realize were a bit extreme.
It’s times like that I am drawn back to Martha’s house.
“Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing.”
When we are distracted we’re being pulled away from our original focus. I think she also wanted to sit in the living room and listen to Jesus, but she also knew the meal wasn’t going to make itself.
The language there for “distracted” means she was being pulled in several directions at the same time.
There is a moment when putting together a big meal that you need several hands, drain the vegetables, mash the potatoes, make the gravy get the rolls on and get everything on the table while it’s still hot.
Anyone here know what that’s like?
At first glance it feels like it’s the age old clash between the lazy and the laborers.
She’s only got two hands. She needs her sister, and pauses in her busyness for a moment and realizes that her Mary is no longer in the kitchen.
Illustration: Perhaps you have a family member that sneaks out of the kitchen when there’s work to be done?
I have two sisters, and following every holiday meal, we were supposed to do the cleanup and the dishes.
It never failed however that one of my sisters and I were always the ones doing the work and while the other one slipped into the bedroom and took a nap.
Over the years it became so predictable that we started to call her out on it.
When she denied it or made excuses for it, we videotaped her sleeping and showed it to our parents.
Martha went to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
I am sensitive to Martha’s plight.
It’s hard to imagine that Mary would breach the culture and custom of the day, abandoning her sister during meal preparation and take a seat among the men, sitting at Jesus feet like one of the disciples.
Martha becomes agitated and began complaining.
In the NIV translation of verse 40 she says to Jesus,
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all this work by myself?”
Sometimes when get overwhelmed, or things don’t go right, we may think that God doesn’t care?
During the exodus, the Israelites wondered about God’s care.
When they found Jesus sleeping in the hull while their boat was sinking the disciples asked Jesus, “don’t you care that we are about to drown?!” (Mk 4:38)
Illustration: Many years ago when my girls were little, I had a year where I nearly capsized thanksgiving because I was angry and frustrated when things didn’t go as I had planned.
You see, I’m a keeper of our family traditions and it’s been my job to see that they are met with precision.
We always had a tight schedule for thanksgiving day, movies and meals at preset times.
And then this one year we joined a new church that had worship on thanksgiving day and it took place at the same time as some of our scheduled activities
No problem I thought, I can be flexible…except I was running late and feeling rushed.
I missed our first scheduled movie because I was cleaning up unexpected paw prints on the carpet
Then setting the table took longer than I expected because I couldn’t find enough matching dishes and silverware.
Now I was frustrated. Never mind I told myself, it will still be a great dinner, and we still have one more movie to watch later.
Now a couple days earlier, I had sent questionnaires to the people coming to dinner, asking them to write down three things that they were grateful for, so we could share them during dinner.
But they didn’t do it.
As the guests arrived, one person brought along two additional guests.
Of course we made room around the table, but now all the work I did to get all the place setting to match were ruined.
Suddenly, all I could see were the disasters of the day. Small things became large as my mind recalled one problem after another.
And then the unthinkable happened…the guests who were new to our house, just got up and left the table when they finished eating.
I protested, “What about our after dinner games?”
They just went to the living room to watch tv.
Immediately all the kids wanted to leave the table, and no one wanted to watch the scheduled movie.
I was angry. Of course my manners would not allow me to say anything.
But tell that to my angry heart though. My anger began to show in my heavy footsteps, my short answers, my slamming of dishes and cabinet doors.
Then I began to sulk. I was feeling like no one cared that I had done all that work by myself or that I was upset.
I struggled to appreciate the day because I was so focused on the wrong things.
Stress can rob us from the things we have to be grateful for.
But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about.
Another translation calls it “the better thing.”
Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I can hear Martha thinking, “Easy for Jesus to say, he can feed 5000 with five loaves and two fish!”
Martha thought the most important thing to do during Jesus’s visit was to feed him.
Mary thought the most important thing to do was to listen to him.
It’s not that Martha doesn’t love Jesus as much as Mary. Her style of devotion is demonstrated through service. But she did so much work, it cost her an opportunity to sit with Jesus.
I truly believe that Martha wanted to honor Jesus. But I think she got to working, and working got to her.
Stephen Covey comments on the unreal expectations of our day in his book, “First Things First” when he says,
“People expect us to be busy, overworked. It’s become a status symbol in our society – if we’re busy, we’re important; if we’re not busy, we’re embarrassed to admit it.
Sometimes, busyness is where we get our security, It’s validating, popular and pleasing, It’s also a good excuse for not dealing with the first things in our lives.”[1]
Martha came to Jesus because she needed help.
He did help her, but not the way she expected. He lightened her load, but not by sending Mary in to help her, but by giving her new permission and perspective.
What Jesus does here is amazing. Going against culture and tradition, he encourages Martha to come and sit and learn from him, which was only allowed for men.
Martha had opened her home, but closed her heart.
While Martha labored, Mary listened.
But it’s not just about contrasting the difference between doing and listening, but between being anxious and not.
Jesus’s criticism wasn’t for Martha’s “service,” but for her “worries and anxieties about many things.”
Conclusion: So What!
So, What are the “better things” that Jesus wanted for Martha?
Food for the soul: Food for the body is temporary, yet food for the soul is eternal.
Martha was anxious and stressed over something that is only temporary, while the bread of life was within her reach. His invitation is that we come to him and feast off his words, letting them fill us up.
Balance: This story brings us a balance between duty and devotion. It’s not saying that we should do nothing, but that we should be able to say no to things that exhaust or frustrate us, or distract us from the better things.
say no to things that eat away our time and prevent us from resting and being refreshed with peace.
We have to identify the things that are pulling us in different directions.
“The Christian life is a journey of balancing duty and devotion.
It has been said that;
- “Sitting without serving is powerless
- Serving without sitting is directionless.
- Serving after sitting produces power and balance.”
The story of Martha and Mary comes just after the story of the Good Samaritan, in which Jesus talked about the importance of doing. The Good Samaritan features “A certain man,” while our story features “A certain woman.”[2]
Samaritans and women were marginalized.
In both stories there are unexpected actions…a Samaritan who cares and helps, and a woman who sits and listens as a disciple.
During Jesus time, neither group would have been praised for their actions.
Yet together these stories bring balance.
Lingering: Lingering leads to laughter because in that space we are able to receive the joy of the Lord. Lingering leads to learning. It takes time to listen and learn his ways and his voice. Lingering leads to change. In his presence we are chanced and our motivations for worship and service flow from genuine thankfulness. The old fears and anxieties float away and our faith strengthened.
As we head into the Advent season of waiting next Sunday there will be many things that scream for our attention and focus.
We need food for our soul, balance and time to linger.
Jesus challenges us as he did Martha,
“Mary has chosen what is better, what about you?”
Let’s Pray:
Dear Lord, thank you for drawing us to yourself and for loving us for who we are, not for what we do. Help us to seek the balance so that what we do does not get in the way of our time with you. Bless us as we head into Advent waiting and watching for your arrival. Help us to remember Mary and Martha when we find ourselves at the other end of anxiety, to look for ways to slow down and simplify. Thank you for inviting us all to learn from you for your load is light and your burden easy. In Jesus name. Amen.