The Power of Blessing
Let’s begin, reading from The Message, the book of James, Chapter 3, starting at verse 3.
3-5 A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.
7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?
13 Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom?
17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
January 25, 2015
James 3:3-13a, 17-18, The Power of Blessing
Marilyn Raatz, Brewster Baptist Church
Audio only – below[powerpress]
Dignity and honor. How can we start giving more of these essentials, and stop, as we heard read from Colossians 3, earlier this morning, stop expressing anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy words? By filthy language, the writer Paul didn’t mean just lewd language. He meant impure, polluted, mucky, ugly words. We are talking here about any language that is disdainful, judgmental, condemning, defaming, merciless, hateful, or violent; any words that hurt or diminish another human being. Have you ever thought about the term filthy words in this way? Have you thought about them as cursing? Jesus did. If you doubt that, go back and read Luke, Chapter 6. Paul and James, as we have heard this morning, did too.
On the other hand, we can say that a ‘blessing’ is bestowed to give and affirm value, and can be an empathic desire to encourage—(by word and action)–the success and wellbeing of another. Yet blessing can be many things: a purpose, even suffering can bless us, for instance. But as we think about it, let’s keep in mind that blessing another is about mutuality and relational equilibrium: that is, I want for you what I want for myself. Blessing is breathing life into people and relationships. And you can’t bless someone and stay unaffected: a blessing ping pongs back to the blesser, and in that joint affinity just created, connection is realized.
Vern Redekop, in his book From Violence to Blessing, says blessing is “open, creative, generous, and life-oriented”; the opposite is “closed, limiting, and death oriented.” [1] Blessing unifies, cursing separates. If blessing is conveyed by our thoughts, beliefs, words and actions, then I would argue that the curse is also. We certainly already know that words have the power to create and perpetuate conflict. Yet, in everyday life, we often limit our thinking to the assumption that cursing is using nearly meaningless words; and the ability to do violent harm or to kill someone with words seems absurd. Nonetheless, the curse is an important concept that holds real, profound, and frightening power for serious harm, and perhaps we might more thoroughly contemplate the supernatural power of our words.
My Sierra Leonean friend Samuel, a deeply committed Christian who is risking his life daily to bring Ebola information, prophylactic and medical supplies to rural villagers, (This man is a saint.) becomes wide-eyed when I ask him about the curse culture so prevalent in his country. The volume of his voice diminishes and he becomes visibly nervous. He has recounted witnessing hellacious events of witchcraft that, as he says, “the rational mind cannot comprehend.” Once, as we walked together through the capital of Freetown, a men’s secret society came menacingly down the street in parade fashion, dressed in traditional garb, wearing masks, chanting, drumming, and rattling. When I stopped to watch, Samuel quickly grabbed me and told me to look away, warning, “Don’t look at them! If they catch your eyes, they can put a curse on you—and you will die.”
This is a belief to which most of us today in this Western nation do not give credence. We scoff or deride such a culture as I have described as demonic, or unsophisticated–or ridiculous. Yet, pronouncements of accusation, insult, labeling and demonization are sadly very common in our everyday thought and speech (just think about how little civil discourse and how much vitriolic mudslinging, creepy fear-mongering, and character assassination goes on daily in our media). I hope you refuse to watch and listen to it.
This behavior is so normalized that many of us rarely stop to think of this as destructive, or even serious. We think it’s ok, or at least, well, that’s the way it is. Lots of us participate! And have you stopped to think why? Because we are more interested in protecting ourselves and our agenda than lifting up and caring for another child of God. As followers of Jesus, I think we should dwell earnestly on that, and seek to let his words seep down a little deeper.
Of course, we do acknowledge that mean-spirited words do have an injurious effect when spoken directly to a person. And most likely, unfortunately, we’ve all experienced deep hurt first hand. When it is constant or severe, we name it abuse. Perhaps it would be helpful for us to also call it curse, because it deeply damages the body, mind and spirit in similar ways as hexing, a practice scientifically validated in its power to destroy.[2]
Because our words have incredible power, we should ask ourselves some serious questions. Are negative, discouraging or hateful comments curses? Are spreading rumors or garnering allies by complaining about another, or speaking ill of a person, who probably isn’t present and cannot defend him-or-herself, doing perhaps irreparable damage? And what about sharp, impatient, critical or insulting comments or thoughts directed at a salesclerk, waitperson or slow driver, whether said loudly or under our breath? Can they exert real influence on mental and physical health although removed in space and time from the target?
Physician Larry Dossey, former Chief of Staff of Humana Medical City Dallas, a National Institutes of Health co-chair of the Panel on Mind/Body Interventions, and author of several books, wrote a fascinating one entitled, Healing Words: The Power of Prayer and The Practice of Medicine. He cites sources from a wide body of clinical studies that indicate positive thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes (all blessings), even when performed from the other side of the world, are effective in changing outcomes of physical and mental illness in percentages of cases too high to be discounted. [3] As Christians, we should be able to believe and confirm this research, shouldn’t we?
So, in the same way, negative words surely can harm people. Dossey references many controlled experiments in highly regarded research institutions showing that “ordinary people can use their minds either to inhibit or promote…growth.” [4]
Dossey tells of research performed at McGill University, arguably Canada’s premier institute of science, in which “a man…claimed he had the ability, using his hands, to cause an unusual reaction in certain living things such as fruit. [In the experiment h]e would hold a banana,…and focus on it in a specific way, whereupon it would begin to desiccate, blacken and shrink. Not only would it become dry and change color, it would petrify.” [5] Thinking bad thoughts sets into motion bad actions.
I confess it took me years—decades—to understand that when I speak ill, I create ill. Ill emotional and physical health for others and myself, ill will, ill conditions for any good thing, including the Holy Spirit itself, to spring forth. My thoughts and words don’t just float off into thin air and disappear. They are out there forever in the spiritual realm. I cannot be loving God, if I’m at the same time cursing a human being. Can I? No. That person is loved, and honored, and blessed by our mutual Father, just as much as I am. God brings the blessings of the rain and the sun to everyone. Let’s remember again that God makes no distinction whatsoever between Jew or Gentile, American or foreigner, men or women, or children, those like us, and those not like us.
It’s impossible to be hanging out with Jesus, and trashing others at the same time. Paul reminded the church at Colossae saying, “Christ is all, and in all.” As James, the brother of Jesus said in the Bible text I just read, Speaking out of both sides of our mouths can’t go on! Not if we truly love Jesus and are stirred by the Holy Spirit to follow him.
In recent years physicists, brain researchers, psychologists and scientists working in many other realms of study are discovering such phenomena as the complete unity of the universe, meaning that you and I and we all are connected materially (there is no such thing as ‘empty’ space); and there are amazing empathic neurological connections between people. Did you know that scientists have learned that our hearts literally act as brains, taking in data from everything and everybody in its energy field and sending information back out? Our hearts are talking to each other! So let me suggest, if you want to avoid heart disease, start talking with more beautiful words.
We may perceive that we are separate and independent creatures, that your life has no effect on mine, and we can do what we want without considering the other…your struggles are yours and they don’t concern me. But thinking like that flies in the face of what scientists have learned to be true—and it flies in the face of the Holy Spirit and the words and life of Jesus. Recorded in the gospel of John, Chapter 17, verses 22-3, Jesus prayed, “that they may become one as we (he and God) are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity.”
The cool thing is that science and the Spirit-centered life are coming together to say the same things, after hundreds of years of each trying to disprove the other! Don’t say we’re not making progress!
So. Let’s finally get to the good part, shall we? I really apologize for talking so much about the curse—but I want us to really take seriously what we far too often do—and then juxtapose the blessing. I mean, which one do we want?
Ok, so we’re leaving that filthy cursing behind us; let’s focus on the great benefits of positive thoughts and words—the blessing—and the opportunities for us to change ourselves, others and the world with bene-diction, or “good words.”
How can we start bestowing lots more life-giving messages? Well, for one thing, I think we have to “put on” certain practices that all work together for bene-diction. Paul, in the letter we heard earlier written to the Roman believers, lists the virtuous habits of kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and compassion, which means…heart-to-heart connection, tolerance, mercy and genuine generosity of spirit. Then he says—pour over the top a big ol’ lavish helping of love, just drowning real good the whole new glorious self—binding all together, unifying it into one big delicious, life-celebrating blessing.
Do you think that if we gave highest priority to following those directions, that we couldn’t positively influence lives, including our own? James said it’s impossible to tame the tongue. Well, I don’t believe that; I think he was using hyperbole to make a strong point. But are we getting the point?
You know, we won’t develop very sweet tongues until we have sweet thoughts. And really, we won’t have sweet thoughts until we have sweet hearts—hearts that are taking their life energy from Christ. Remember what Jesus said? He said in Luke chapter 6, “Good people bring good things out of the good stored up in their heart.” And evil people bring out…what? He continued, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
So bottom line, we really need to change our hearts first and foremost. If negative, critical words are coming out, it’s time to look inside of ourselves. Our hearts should be our first projects. But let me warn you if you don’t already know, cleaning up your heart takes honesty and humility. It also takes prayer, confession, repentance and forgiveness. It takes daily commitment. It means being willing to give dignity and honor and blessing to even those people you don’t like, or don’t agree with, or those who have even harmed you. This may be the hardest task of your life.
You might be sitting here thinking, “Yeah, ok, maybe; but if you knew this person, or what was done to me, or how crazy that group is…” Well, I think we have all thought and said those things. But I ask this question: Do you think Jesus would ask us to do something that we can’t do? Jesus, if we ask him, will help us become a life-giving blessers; but we have to be as committed as he is.
Finally, I want to give you some real tools, habits, really, for real life that you can start implementing right away. There are many more, of course, but I give you these today.
The first one is, Smile more often. A big smile conveys blessing right away before a word has been spoken. It’s a great gift that everyone can use and it doesn’t cost a penny. A smile proves that we are determined to live in unity and peace. Are you all smiling? You can’t really smile and stay grumpy or negative. Smiling calms the nerves, and we can feel it in our entire bodies. Smiling automatically lowers your heart rate.
The second habit is Compassionate Listening. I believe listening, deeply, to another, without personal agenda or fixing, not only crosses borders, it dissolves them. It removes ‘otherness’ and creates empathy and then grace. Listening deeply initiates learning, and one of the many beneficial outcomes is that persons are discerned in new light, rescinding stereotypes, biases, and evaluations. Compassion allows us to see into others’ lives, their histories and worldviews instead of seeing past them, and advancing our own. Attentive listening shows our care and acceptance. Full body listening—eyes, ears, body posture and quietude—says, “I am here; you are important; tell me more.” We hear with our minds and our hearts, and as famous psychologist Carl Rogers said, real listening conveys “unconditional positive regard [and] non-possessive warmth.” [6] We “…hear the words, the thoughts, the feeling tones, the personal meaning,” [7] and when this happens, we are not nearly so quick to respond.
Listening quietly is a blessing, a gift we give by saying without words, “you matter.”
Rogers reflected also on the mutual blessing of listening. He wrote, “When I can really hear someone,…it enriches my life…Communicating with others has made me feel expanded, larger, enriched and [has] accelerated my own growth.” [8]
The third is Speaking Encouragement. Some of you have heard me tell this story before, so forgive me—I’m telling it again!
Social psychologist Howard Kirshenbaum set up an experiment at a bowling camp. There were two teams with identical equipment and the same amount of practice opportunity. Team 1 practiced during the day and in the evenings reviewed videos, edited to include only what members did well. Team 2 had the same amount of practice time but in the evenings, the team looked at videos of only their mistakes, being told that they would “learn from their errors”. During the week everyone’s performance was recorded. “Both teams improved. Team 1 improved 100% over Team 2,” [9] and also 100% faster. There was another measurement to see how the poorest bowlers would perform according to how much or how little they were affirmed and cheered on by their teammates. Not surprisingly, “less skilled players performed far better when they were part of a team that cheered them on rather than criticized or corrected them.”[10]
Supportive words and actions enhance accomplishment—and give life. And while reproach is a common practice by parents, teachers, bosses, and spouses, most of us would probably admit that criticism never helped you improve anything. Think back on your life and on whom and how someone truly helped you get better.
This is not to suggest that errors should never be identified or rectified, or that suggestions shouldn’t be made for improvement: being honest is being authentic, and it builds trust. Nonetheless, we all know that more than anything else, it is consistent positive feeling, encouraging tone, level of respect shown, time given and supportive words that can allow us be able to hear honesty as blessing, and then grow through our mistakes.
And surely, isn’t it thrilling to feel that spring in our step and lightness of heart generated by a loving and enthusiastic supporter who chooses to acknowledge and celebrate us by seeing our successes no matter how small, our hard efforts, and bravery for trying? We can choose to bring joy and good humor and blessing to people, no matter the circumstances.
The fourth is Prayer. Pray for your enemies. Pray for yourself to love as God loves—unconditionally—so that you can truly bless your enemies. It’s very hard sometimes—we all know that. But if you think it’s impossible, you will continue until your end with whatever habits you have now. Challenge yourself to make your highest priority blessing others in thought word and deed all the time. If you really try, it really does get easier–because Jesus doesn’t want us to fail. He wants to bless us!
[1] Vern N. Redekop, From Violence to Blessing: How an Understanding of Deep Rooted Conflict Can Open Paths to Reconciliation, (Ottawa, Canada: Novalis, Saint Paul University, 2002), 275
[2] Larry Dossey, Healing Words: the Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine (HarperSanFrancisco, 1993) See Chapter 9. “When Prayer Hurts: An Inquiry into ‘Black Prayer” 145-158
[3] Dossey, See especially Part Three: The Evidence, 159-208, and Appendices 1-4, “Controlled Experiments”, “Spontaneous Regression”, “How Good is the Evidence?” and “Healing and the Mind”
[4] C.B. Nash, “Test of Psychokinetic Control of Bacterial Mutation,” Journal of the American Society for Psychical Research 78, no. 2 (1984), 145-52, as reported by Dossey, 148
[5] Dossey Healing Words, 147-148
[6] Carl R. Rogers, from a speech entitled “Experiences in Communication” date unknown, reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Co. in Bridges, Not Walls, Stewart, J. Ed., (New York: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2002), 643
[7] Ibid.
[8] Ibid.
[9] George Lakey, Facilitating Group Learning: Strategies for Success with Diverse Adult Learners, (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010) 15-16, citing Cooperrider, Sorensen, Yeager and Whitney (ed.), Appreciative Inquiry: An Emerging direction for Organization Development, (Champaign, IL: Stipes Publishing, 2001)
[10] Ibid.