Learning from a Clever Woman – Abigail
The Call to Worship today from Romans 12:19 states, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord (which comes from Deuteronomy 32:35).” That is really a hard thing to do isn’t it? If someone tried to hurt my wife or sons, I don’t know that leaving vengeance to God would be the first thing I’d be thinking about. I think it’s fair to say that throughout history most Jews and Christians as well as most people have proven incapable of obeying and living that verse. Many people would say it is cowardly and weak not to avenge yourself, your loved ones, or your country and it invites abuse and acts of violence. The cry of “Revenge” or “Vengeance” has been heard before many attacks, battles, and acts of violence whether in ancient times or in the present.
July 20, 2014
1 Samuel 25:2-35, Learning from a Clever Woman
Doug Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church
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The world is a complex and difficult place filled with people with very different world views, goals, and values, but the question remains: what do vengeance and revenge bring about? What is gained by Hamas or Israel as more children die on both sides? It will not lead to peace; it will only lead to more people who want to kill and the cycle of violence will continue as it has for so long when people react rashly in anger and fear instead of seeking another way to resolve conflict. In our country a gang member kills someone, then the rival gang kills someone and it never stops it just leads to more death, grief, and tears – especially because innocent people who have nothing to do with the gangs always end up as victims. In Chicago, Illinois, 1,254 people were shot between January 1 and July 14 of this year![1] If a terrorist group shot over 1,250 people in a major American city in six months, how might we respond? How should we?
If “vengeance is mine, says the Lord,” then it cannot be yours or mine yet we take vengeance into our own hands all the time. We don’t want to be considered weak, we don’t want to be taken advantage of; we want to get even. Most of us might not have killed someone, but we may have hit someone, even a loved one. Looks and words can also be used to hurt other people and let’s not even get into what we do and see on the roads of Cape Cod in the summer. “Forget that verse,” we think, “I’m striking back.” We all know 298 people lost their lives this week over a disputed part of eastern Ukraine when a commercial airliner was shot down with a missile, most likely by mistake by a very stupid person making a rash decision. Eighty children and almost a hundred people dedicated to working to relieve the suffering associated with AIDS were among those killed. The people in conflict in the Ukraine, in the Middle East, in our country as well as people in smaller interpersonal conflicts could learn a lesson from a wise and courageous peace-making woman we meet in 1 Samuel 25 named Abigail whose story is almost like an illustration or a parable of the verse in Romans 12:19.
2 There was a man in Maon, whose property was in Carmel. The man was very rich; he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. He was shearing his sheep in Carmel. 3 Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was clever and beautiful, but the man was surly and mean; he was a Calebite. 4 David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep. 5 So David sent ten young men; and David said to the young men, “Go up to Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name. 6 Thus you shall salute him: ‘Peace be to you, and peace be to your house, and peace be to all that you have. 7 I hear that you have shearers; now your shepherds have been with us, and we did them no harm, and they missed nothing, all the time they were in Carmel. 8 Ask your young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your sight; for we have come on a feast day. Please give whatever you have at hand to your servants and to your son David.’ ”
9 When David’s young men came, they said all this to Nabal in the name of David; and then they waited. 10 But Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are breaking away from their masters. 11 Shall I take my bread and my water and the meat that I have butchered for my shearers, and give it to men who come from I do not know where?” 12 So David’s young men turned away, and came back and told him all this. 13 David said to his men, “Every man strap on his sword!” And every one of them strapped on his sword; David also strapped on his sword; and about four hundred men went up after David, while two hundred remained with the baggage.
14 But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he shouted insults at them. 15 Yet the men were very good to us, and we suffered no harm, and we never missed anything when we were in the fields, as long as we were with them; 16 they were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. 17 Now therefore know this and consider what you should do; for evil has been decided against our master and against all his house; he is so ill-natured that no one can speak to him.”
18 Then Abigail hurried and took two hundred loaves, two skins of wine, five sheep ready dressed, five measures of parched grain, one hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs. She loaded them on donkeys 19 and said to her young men, “Go on ahead of me; I am coming after you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. 20 As she rode on the donkey and came down under cover of the mountain, David and his men came down toward her; and she met them. 21 Now David had said, “Surely it was in vain that I protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him; but he has returned me evil for good. 22 God do so to David and more also, if by morning I leave so much as one male of all who belong to him.”
23 When Abigail saw David, she hurried and alighted from the donkey, and fell before David on her face, bowing to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “Upon me alone, my lord, be the guilt; please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. 25 My lord, do not take seriously this ill-natured fellow, Nabal; for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him; but I, your servant, did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent.
26 “Now then, my lord, as the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, since the LORD has restrained you from bloodguilt and from taking vengeance with your own hand, now let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be like Nabal. 27 And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28 Please forgive the trespass of your servant; for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the LORD; and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live. 29 If anyone should rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living under the care of the LORD your God; but the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling. 30 When the LORD has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you, and has appointed you prince over Israel, 31 my lord shall have no cause of grief, or pangs of conscience, for having shed blood without cause or for having saved himself. And when the LORD has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant.”
32 David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! 33 Blessed be your good sense, and blessed be you, who have kept me today from bloodguilt and from avenging myself by my own hand! 34 For as surely as the LORD the God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, truly by morning there would not have been left to Nabal so much as one male.” 35 Then David received from her hand what she had brought him; he said to her, “Go up to your house in peace; see, I have heeded your voice, and I have granted your petition.”
This story in 1 Samuel 25 is highly unusual in the Bible because a woman, Abigail, is the main character and her speech in verses 24-31 is one of the longest by a woman in the scriptures. The Hebrew Bible, what we often call the Old Testament, is the product of a highly patriarchal, Middle Eastern culture – think how women are regarded and treated even today in so many countries in that part of the world a few thousand years later – so it shouldn’t surprise us that women more often are secondary characters with some notable exceptions like Abigail.
This chapter would be great as a movie. First on the screen is wealthy, crude, mean, foolish, Nabal and his 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. Then the camera pans to his smart, sensible, beautiful wife, Abigail. We learn that David and his men have been staying in the wilderness near Nabal’s flocks and while they’ve been around no marauders or thieves have been able to steal any sheep or harm Nabal’s servants. Now that it is shearing time, David sends messengers asking for a little something for the effort.
Nabal’s reply is ungracious, selfish, lacking in tact or hospitality, and disrespectful; other than that it wasn’t so bad. A reciprocal act of good will in exchange for the protection that was given, (even if it wasn’t asked for, it was effective), seems to have been the right thing to do. Giving a disrespectful answer to 600 hungry, fighting men is not a wise thing to do. When David hears the response he’s furious and takes off with two-thirds of his men to kill every man in Nabal’s household. Maybe Nabal is angry because he feels like he is being strong-armed or extorted into doing something he doesn’t want to; maybe he didn’t fully grasp the benefit that David and his men provided; maybe he was dense as his name implies. David is angry because he feels insulted, disrespected and unappreciated. We still get made for all these reasons today. As men they do what men do too often – get mad and then try to strike a blow.
Are you seeing this like a movie – David’s ten messengers return with the news, David is furious, “Get your swords!” 400 men bent on destruction start for Nabal’s home. Meanwhile, a wise servant doesn’t bother going to Nabal but goes straight to Abigail tells the story again and she immediately grasps the seriousness of the situation and decisively takes action. She gathers a whole bunch of provisions and food which are packed on donkeys and sent ahead with servants and she didn’t tell her husband what she was doing. She goes out and meets David and pours her heart out to him accepting all the blame and responsibility, interceding for her husband, reminding David of his better self and all the Lord has done and will do for him and through him, and offers him the gift of food. Abigail helps to calm David down and enables him to see that there is alternative to bloodshed.
David is grateful and speaks a three-fold blessing: “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! 33 Blessed be your good sense, and blessed be you, who have kept me today from bloodguilt and from avenging myself by my own hand!”
Abigail is an important Biblical role model of moral courage and peacemaking. As a woman of some wealth and privilege, she was approached in trustful confidence by the servants of the household seeking help and she rose to the occasion. She deals with both the rashness of Nabal and the danger of David in a resourceful way and at considerable risk to herself. She could have been a victim of violence at the hand of either Nabal or David. Abigail saves her household by using her good sense, wisdom, and courage. In this story she is the only person in contact with all the other characters. She is the clear decision maker and action taker. After his initial angry response to being rejected by Nabal, even David responds to her initiatives. Abigail has so many admirable qualities: intelligence, persuasive speech, decisiveness, good sense, tact, faith and vision. She is seen by David as acting for and speaking for God.
Abigail stepped in and averted a violent confrontation that surely would have seen many people killed. Her generous gift and wise words in 25:24-31 changed the future king’s mind. We might wonder, “How could such intelligent, tactful, and beautiful woman have ended up with such a foolish, stupid man?” But remember Nabal had money and Abigail’s parents most likely arranged their daughter’s marriage to him; it’s not like Abigail had a choice. While she was stuck in a bad situation, she didn’t allow the existing cultural norms or an oppressive husband to stop her from taking action. At the end of the story this wise, peacemaking, courageous woman was rewarded. Abigail was able to avert a confrontation between two leaders that would have been disastrous for both. With her last words, she asks David to remember her when the Lord made him leader of all Israel. When she tells her husband what happened, he had a stroke and died ten days later. As soon as David hears the news, he sends messengers to ask Abigail to be one of his wives and she agrees and gives birth to David’s second son, Chileab.
Abigail teaches us the value of keeping our composure, seeing the bigger picture, forming a workable plan and influencing even more powerful people to follow a wiser and more peaceful path. The world in which we live could use a lot more people like Abigail. Hopefully, we can learn from her example.
Questions for Reflection or Discussion
- Why do you think anger and violence are such a problem for so many people and for humanity in general? When do you find yourself getting mad? What sorts of behavior or actions “set you off?” Why are we so prone to want revenge and to strike back at someone we believe has wronged us? How can we break the unending cycle of vengeance and violence?
- In 1 Samuel 25 what happens that makes Nabal and David angry and ready to resort to violence?
- What does Abigail say and do to de-escalate the conflict and avert bloodshed?
- What qualities do you admire in Abigail?
- How can we cultivate those same qualities in our lives?