Getting Ready for the Wedding
Although it seems hard to imagine given the political and economic turmoil around the globe and the many places where hunger, war and violence are part of daily life, if you were to research what was one of the biggest news stories of 2011 in terms of coverage, it was….the royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton on April 29. In US dollars the wedding only cost about $32 million dollars. A few of the big ticket items in addition to security:
- The Royal wedding cake: $80,000.
- Kate Middleton’s wedding gown: $434,000.
- The royal wedding flowers: $800,000.
So if you think the cost of a cake, dress, and flowers for your family wedding was exorbitant you can feel a lot better about it now.
August 21, 2011
Matthew 22:1-14, Revelation 19:6-9, Getting Ready for the Wedding
Douglas Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church
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This year I will have the pleasure of joining several couples in marriage including my best friend Joe and his wife, Lynn, in July, Todd Bohannon and Mary Welp, next month, Su Ballantine’s daughter Brooke and her fiancé Jeremiah in October, and one of the players we hosted for the Brewster Whitecaps Aaron and his fiancé Lacey in December. Weddings are nice occasions but they are not without stress and one of the most stressful things involves who gets invited, and then who responds in a timely way and who fails to let you know if they’re coming or not, and who may be invited if enough of the first round invitees can’t attend. I assured one bride-to-be that her expectation that people would let them know whether they were coming was totally legitimate, especially since the caterer needed to know how many meals to prepare and they were going to have to pay for them all whether the people showed up or not.
It may come as surprise that Jesus told a parable about the kingdom of heaven using a wedding and invitations and the response of people to that invitation. In Jesus’ time two invitations were given – the initial one announcing the event and then a second when everything was ready on the big day.
The parable is found in Matthew 22:1-14
“Once more Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying:
“The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding banquet, but they would not come. Again he sent other slaves, saying, ‘Tell those who have been invited: Look, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready; come to the wedding banquet.’ But they made light of it and went away, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his slaves, mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his slaves, ‘The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.’ Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests.
“But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding robe, and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen.”
In case there is any doubt what this parable is about, the word “wedding” is mentioned 8 times. Weddings can be quite elaborate, costing thousands upon thousands of dollars for clothes, flowers, photography, receptions, and food. Weddings have a way of becoming all-consuming for people, so much so that some times important details can be overlooked.
It was ten years ago this summer on July 22, 2001 after the last worship service of the day in the old sanctuary. I was greeting people downstairs when Jill came to tell me I had an urgent call from the Old Sea Pines Inn, where a church member worked as a waitress. I called the Inn and the owner told me they had a wedding that was supposed to take place at 12:30, there was only one problem. They didn’t have anyone to perform the wedding. For some reason the couple thought part of the package the Inn provided was a pastor to do the ceremony. The Inn naturally assumed the couple has arranged for someone to officiate. So now both families and all the guests were gathered at the Inn decked out in their finest clothes, the food for everyone was prepared, the Inn was all decorated, but they had no one to marry the bride and groom. I told them I’d be right down. I grabbed a wedding ceremony out of my files, ran home, jumped in the car, and went to the Inn. The looks on people’s faces were priceless.
I introduced my self to the relieved owners, the anxious father and the bewildered bride. I looked at her and asked, “What’s your name? What’s the groom’s name?” Then I went and found the groom and best man and made sure they had the rings. I got everyone’s names, told them to relax and everything was going to be fine, I’d done this many times.
No later than most weddings, we got every one to their places, then the women and finally the bride and her father came down the aisle, everything went as smoothly as the women’s silk dresses. It really was a lot of fun and afterward everyone was so grateful. I told them: “Now you’ll always remember your wedding and you’ll have a great story to tell.” Jill came with me to the wedding because that day was our twelfth wedding anniversary and we had planned to go out to eat to celebrate, which we did.
That is the most extreme example from my experience of people forgetting something important at a wedding. While this situation worked out fine, sometimes there are consequences for not being prepared for a wedding. Today’s parable is an allegory about the consequences of not being prepared for a wedding. An allegory means that each character, object, or event is symbolically representing something. In the parable of the wedding banquet, the king who gives the wedding banquet is God and his son is Jesus. This parable is about the judgment of Christians. God sends out slaves, who represent the prophets, to call those invited to the banquet. God is gracious and generous in sending out the invitation, not once but twice. The food is prepared and on the table. The big elaborate banquet is all set, come on in.
The first thing we need to get ready for a wedding is an invitation. God gives the invitation but those who were invited “made light of it, and went away.” They didn’t grasp the weight, significance, importance, and urgency of the invitation. Can you imagine how hurt you would feel if you invited people to your wedding and they didn’t have the courtesy or respect to respond? Or even worse, if they told you they were coming and you planned accordingly and paid for their meals with the caterer. And then on the day of the wedding, they told you, “I’ve got to work today, I’ve got stuff to do, I can’t make it.” How upset would you be? In the parable this is no ordinary invitation to consider and no typical wedding. As the angel says in Revelation 19:9, this is “the marriage supper of the Lamb.” This is the messianic banquet that Jesus mentions in Matthew 8:11-12 when he reveals that many of the folks who were first invited aren’t going to end up with seats at the banquet table. Jesus said, “many will come from east and west and will eat with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the heirs of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
There is plenty of evidence in Matthew’s gospel that the author was deeply disturbed by the mixed state of the church. In his view there were too many false prophets and false disciples whose lives weren’t consistent with what they said they believed (see Matthew 7:21-23). This is the third parable about this issue, the others being the Weeds in the Wheat (Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43), and the great net and the fish (13:47-50). The king sends the slaves out again to bring in everyone they find, “Both bad and good.”
The second thing we need to do to properly prepare for a wedding is to wear appropriate clothes. Different types of weddings call for different attire. The part of this parable many people find uncomfortable is about the guest without wedding clothes. Why is the king so harsh to a man who was presumably minding his own business when he was suddenly and unexpectedly dragged into a wedding banquet? After all it was the king who told his slaves to bring in everyone they could find. Remember, however, this isn’t a news report; it is parable and an allegory. The wedding banquet is the age to come. Why does the king ask, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?’ The word translated as “Friend” occurs three times in Matthew: with the unhappy early worker in the parable of the generous landowner (“Friend I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage?” 20:13), second with this man who isn’t properly attired for the wedding celebration (“Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?” 22:12), and finally with Judas in the Garden of Gethsemane after he has betrayed Jesus with a kiss (“Friend, do what you are here to do.” 26:50). Each time the word “Friend” is used to reproach a person who is clearly in the wrong.
Do you remember a commercial for a particular insurance company (New York Life) that closed with the line, “The Company you keep.” In Matthew’s view of the world, you don’t want to “keep company” with the attitudes and behaviors of these three people (the selfish worker, the unprepared wedding guest, and Judas). These are not friends to hang out with at the coffee shop. The required wedding outfit the man is missing is righteousness, that is, behavior in accordance with Jesus’ teachings (Matthew 28:19). Perhaps that is why the language of changing clothes is used so many times in the Bible to describe giving up our old way of life and putting on our new identity as one who belongs to and is becoming like Jesus. In one of Jesus’ best known parables, when the son who had gone off and gotten himself in all kinds of trouble returned humbly home, his father said, “Quickly, bring out a robe – the best one – and put it on him (Luke 15:22).” Paul writes in Galatians 3:27, “As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” In Colossians 3:12, Paul says, “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” (See also Romans 13:12-14; Ephesians 6:11; Revelation 3:4; 6:11; 19:8). Each of us needs to do this, we need to be clothed with Christ and his righteousness and dressed in the fine linen of righteous living and good deeds, bright, and pure for the wedding supper of the Lamb.
The man is speechless because he has no defense; he accepted the invitation of the gospel, but refused to conform his life to the gospel. The parable is seeking to encourage vigorous effort on our part to live the Christian life because there are dire consequences to accepting God’s invitation and doing nothing except showing up. That is not the proper way to prepare for a wedding and it is not the way to get ready for the last judgment. Sometimes we can have trouble even showing up. A number of years ago a wedding was scheduled in the old sanctuary. The wedding party was staying at Ocean Edge right down 6A and everything went fine at the rehearsal Friday evening. On Saturday, the distracted bridal party told their limo driver to simply turn left out of Ocean Edge and the church was two miles down the road. Unfortunately, no one in the limo was paying attention when the Limo pulled out of Ocean Edge, turned left, and started driving. The problem was the driver had pulled out on Route 137 and not 6A. They ended up driving around Harwich looking for Brewster Baptist Church while our organist played and played and played. The frantic bride and her attendants showed up about 30 something minutes after the wedding was supposed to start as the guests baked in the afternoon heat.
We want to be people who do more than show up because this parable is a warning to Christians like ourselves who are in the church that just showing up isn’t enough. Our Christian faith is to be manifested in deeds of love, mercy, generosity, compassion, and justice every day of our life.
We get ready for a wedding by taking the invitation seriously, clothing ourselves appropriately, and thirdly by making any necessary plans to be ready for the big day. Just as a wedding requires changes on the part of everyone involved – bride, groom, parents, families, and friends – so we are to be changed and continuously changing people as we follow Jesus and do what he taught.
When my friend from seminary Todd was married in Minnesota many years ago, I was one of the guys in the wedding. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be there to try on the tuxedo I needed to rent (so I was appropriately dressed), and when I tried it on the day of the rehearsal, the pants were several inches too long so they didn’t look too good. Our classmate David officiated at the ceremony. David told the story of a very nervous bride who couldn’t calm herself before the ceremony. The pastor tried to assured her, “All you have to do is walk down the aisle, stand before me at the altar, and we’ll sing the hymn.” You can imagine everyone’s surprise to hear the bride saying loudly enough for others to hear as she came forward, “Aisle-Altar-Hymn, (I’ll Alter Him).” The musical comedy “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change” just opened this week at the Cotuit Center for the Arts. While it is a good recipe for a show, I don’t recommend that attitude for an actual marriage. While I don’t advocate seeking to change our spouse as an approach to marriage, when it comes to following Jesus, it is the Lord who says about us, “I’ll alter him, I’ll alter her.” When it comes to wedding clothes and people, we all need alterations. We all need the humility to recognize in ourselves the habits we have that the Lord could alter for the better.
I can say Jill and I took marriage seriously because we went for six sessions of premarital counseling, before we got engaged. We talked about marriage, our family backgrounds and in spite of what we learned about our families, we decided to go forward anyway. Others are not as serious about the idea of being married as Jill and I were. Like the woman who was married four times to four very different men. She married a millionaire, an actor, a pastor, and a funeral director. When asked why she married such vastly different men she replied that she, “Married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”
Matthew shares the parable of the wedding banquet because he wants each of us to be ready to go. He wants us to live as Jesus teaches us to on this earth and to enter into the wedding supper of the Lamb in heaven clothed in righteousness, prepared to lift our voices in praise and adoration. He doesn’t want us getting complacent as disciples of Jesus which is why Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 10:12, “So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall.”
God’s invitation is extended to each of us to attend a banquet given in Jesus’ honor. It is an invitation to be taken seriously and not lightly because it has eternal consequences that begin now. Just saying “yes” and showing up is not enough. Saying we want to come to the wedding celebration means that we clothe ourselves appropriately with the virtues and qualities Jesus taught and demonstrated. Finally, we recognize that the Lord is going to have to make some alterations in us with the help of the Holy Spirit so that our wedding garment of righteousness is a good fit.
If you don’t want to be shut out of the celebration, then you need to commit yourself to Jesus as your Savior, Lord and Tailor. A tailor measures you every time you come in and doesn’t make assumptions that you are the same as the last time or take your word about your size because we can easily mislead ourselves, or others, about our selves.
Jesus takes our measure not just once when we make a decision to follow him, but daily, and if you give him permission he’ll help you with the alterations you need to make each day to be properly prepared and dressed to attend the wedding banquet of the Lord.