Defeating the Green Eyed Monster
Rev. Mary Scheer, Brewster Baptist Church
James 3: 13-16
In my last couple sermons I talked about things that are obstacles to our faith and affect our relationship with God and keep us from fully enjoying life. First we looked at how idols in our lives can lead us away from God and deeper into emotional, spiritual and even physical bondage and just wreck havoc in our lives. Then we looked at the story of Leah saw how looking for love in the wrong places will leave us feeling empty, hurting and alone.
Today, I want to talk about another subject that can affect our faith, relationships, and complicate our lives.
[powerpress]God wants us to live in freedom. The Apostle Paul said to the Galatians, “Christ has set us free to live a free life.” (Gal. 5:1 The Message)
He goes on, “It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom.” (Gal. 5: 13-15)
The purpose of this freedom is so we can live our best lives, become our best selves, and grow in our faith and relationship with God. However, our sinful nature sometimes trips us up.
Paul said, “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5: 19-23 NLT)
James was a simple and straight forward preacher who preached about living life in keeping with our faith, said it this way.
SERMON TEXT: “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” James 3:13-16
There’s a lot of stuff there…our sinful nature can cause us to act out in terrible ways. There’s two things going on inside us, our spiritual nature and our sinful nature, (which is also identified as our humanity or as Paul would call them, “the works of the flesh.”) And while jealousy is just one of the “works of the flesh,” I believe it can pave the way to the others. It’s like the shovel that digs the hole that we fall into.
We can see evidence of this in the Bible as far back as Adam and Eve. God gave them a home filled with every good thing, all for their pleasure. But one thing was forbidden, one fruit that was off limits to them. And…Satan convinced Eve that God had ulterior motives for keeping her from this special thing. He said, “God knows when you eat of the forbidden fruit, you will become like God. You will know good and evil.” He tried to make her believe that God was keeping her from something good from her that she should have. And she risked everything including her relationship with God to get it.
Then, Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel. Genesis chapter 4 says that, “Time passed. Cain brought an offering to God from the produce of his farm. Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, but Cain and his offering didn’t get his approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk. God spoke to Cain: “Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won’t you be accepted? And if you don’t do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it’s out to get you, you’ve got to master it.” Cain had words with his brother. They were out in the field; Cain went after Abel his brother and killed him. (Gen. 4: 6-8)
Cain wasn’t the only sibling jealous enough to kill. Joseph had 11 brothers to contend with. The Bible says that his father loved Joseph more than his other sons because he was born to him in his old age. That made his brothers jealous. Then his father made him a special coat and that made his brothers jealous. Then Joseph had a dream in which his father and brothers bow down to him…and that made them jealous. When their jealousy turned to hatred they planned to kill him. But one brother intervened and they sold him into slavery instead. Gen. 37: 2-11).
Jealousy and envy played a part in the crucifixion of Jesus. When he was arrested and brought before Pilate, he asked the crowd that had gathered “Which one do you want me to release to you: Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?” For he knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him.” (Mt 27: 17-18)
During the exodus, the people of Israel grew jealous of Moses and Aaron. (Num. 16: 3; Ps 106:16)
In the New Testament, the Sadducees were jealous of the apostles. (Acts 5:12-18)
Why was Cain mad at Abel, or the brothers hateful of Joseph or the Sadducees jealous of the apostles? A closer look at jealousy may explain.
The experience of jealousy involves:
- Fear of loss
- Suspicion or anger about betrayal
- Low self-esteem and sadness over loss
- Uncertainty and loneliness
- Fear of losing an important person, position or opportunity
- Distrust
Although jealousy and envy are often used to mean the same thing, there is a distinction between the two. For example, philosopher John Rawls distinguishes between jealousy and envy saying that jealousy involves the wish to keep what one has, and envy is the wish to get what one does not have.[1]
At the core, jealousy grows out of fear…fear that causes suspicion, anger, and uncertainty, that can cause big problems for us when we act on our anger or mistrust in trying to keep the thing we’re afraid we might lose.
Have you ever experienced jealousy? Can you think of a relationship, or a job, or position you really loved? A time when things were good, when you were happy and felt safe, it was peaceful…the future was sure and then something…or someone came along and threatened that good thing and it slipped away from you, or you watched while someone else achieved your dream, or took that thing you wanted. They stomped on your security, threatening your happiness and you began to fear that person or situation could wreck what you had. You started to worry about it. And the more you thought about it, the more convinced you were that the threat was real, that your suspicions were valid. And pretty soon you could predict the future and feared it wouldn’t be the way you wanted it to be.
Well, that’s what happened to Saul, Israel’s first King.
Saul was the son of a distinguished Jew by the name of Kish, from the tribe of Benjamin. He was tall, among the people, a whole head higher, and no one of the Israelites was more handsome than he.
Soon after, Saul was anointed, the Prophet Samuel called the people together to elect a king. Lots were cast. The lot fell on Saul, and he was declared king. The people, admiring his height and beauty, cried out, “Long live the King!”
In the beginning of his reign, Saul acted according to God’s will. The people loved him and he had many victories over the enemy. But when he became bigheaded and stopped carrying out God’s commands, the Spirit of God left him and Saul was filled with anxiety. (1Sam. 15:10-26; 16:16-21)
Samuel felt awful about what was happening with Saul and talked with God about it. The Lord told him to go to Bethlehem to a man named Jesse because one of his sons would be the next king. So at God’s direction, he anointed David, the son of Jesse, from the tribe of Judah, to be king. Now David was the youngest son of Jesse, blond, with beautiful eyes and a pleasant face. He was agile and brave, had a gentle and kind heart and was famed for his fine playing on the harp.
This young good looking musician had a little bit of edge to him. Perhaps his boldness and confidence came off as a little cocky to others.
Meanwhile, Saul was sick at heart and depressed from the action of an evil spirit. Someone thought he would feel better if he listened to some music. They told him there just so happens to be a pretty good harpist in Bethlehem, a young man named David. He called David to the palace. When he came and played on the harp, Saul indeed felt better and cheered up, and then the evil spirit left him.
Normally David worked in the fields tending to his fathers sheep; the music thing was a hobby. But whenever Saul was having a bad day or couldn’t sleep, they called David to come play for him.
And then one day the Philistine army threw down a challenge to the army of Israel and both took up positions on either side of a valley of Elah. (1 Sam. 17) One of the Philistine soldiers took the lead. He was a champion named Goliath, a giant by all accounts, a giant in height, and a giant mouth. He marched back and forth in the morning and the evening right in the middle of the valley for 40 days and 40 nights, hurling insults and threats at the Israelites.
None of the Israelite soldiers responded to Giant’s invitation to join him in the valley for a one on one fight…until, the young David showed up to check on his brothers and bring them lunch.
He heard Goliath ranting and said, “who is that Philistine who challenges the army of the living God?” With a sling and a few stones David accepted the challenge and headed into the valley. The Lord was with David and with one stone he brought down the mighty giant. As you can imagine, that was cause for great celebration for the people of Israel.
“When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes. As they danced, they sang: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Sam 18:6-9)
Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. (the green eyed monster had taken root)
The next day an evil spirit from God came forcefully upon Saul. (16:14) He was prophesying in his house, while David was playing the harp, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand and he hurled it, saying to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David eluded him twice.” (18:10)
And that was the beginning of Saul’s troubles. David had gone from being a musician whose harp playing soothed and comforted the King, to an enemy in his eyes.
His fear turned to hatred and his jealousy of David grew, he began to be paranoia, he obsessed about the song the women sang about David, was suspicious about the loyalty of his people, & David’s motives. He even turned on his son Jonathan, threatened by his friendship with David. Pretty soon he couldn’t sleep, he was tormented and Ch 19 says became moody and unstable.
Jealousy had gotten the best of him. Instead of running the kingdom, he spent years chasing David all over trying to kill him. All of his relationships were in trouble, he had alienated his son, disappointed Samuel, was at trying to kill David, and had turned away from God.
Then it happened again, the Philistines came back and Israel was about to be attacked. Saul prayed, but got nothing from God, so he disguised himself and went to see the witch at Endor. He had to disguise himself because earlier he was the one responsible for getting rid of all the witches in the area. Now he went to ask her to bring up the spirit of Samuel who had died and ask what he should do about the Philistines. The message he received back was not what he was hoping for and basically predicted defeat of Israel at the hands of the philistines and the death of Saul and his sons who indeed died the next day.
Think about the thing or person you really love. Now imagine that someone else has the position and power to take that person or thing away from you and that it’s a very real possibility that, that is about to happen.
How do you feel as you think about what you are about to lose, when you think about the future you are not going to have because someone else is about to take it from you. How do you feel? Your stomach gets tight, your heart screams no, and your mind tries to figure out a way to stop it.
Then, what if you couldn’t stop it and they succeed in taking the person, position or thing you loved away from you. How do you feel when you think about that person? Frustrated, helpless, angry? They and the problems they are causing in your life become huge, taking on giant proportions. Every time you hear their name you cringe, your stomach turns, you either want to fight or run away.
Some people here this morning have faced this kind of giant. Jealousy is a very real response to very real losses. However justified it may feel, jealousy is always painful and destructive. In fact, as we saw through Saul’s story, once jealousy takes root, it grows like a weed out of control, affecting of our senses, thinking & feeling, discernment, and perception.
Once jealousy took root in Saul’s life, it destroyed his relationships, his faith, cost him the throne, indeed his life. “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Prov. 27:4)
The consequences of his actions affected the whole nation. His life reflected the Galatians 5:20 (NIV) list of Idolatry, witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, & factions.
Socrates said envy is the ulcer of the soul, literally making us sick. You’ve heard the term “green with envy.” And William Shakespeare said, “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock The meat it feeds on.”
All of which makes it impossible for us to experience the freedom in life that Paul says we can have.
So what’s the answer?
While Saul and Israel’s Army stood helplessly watching and listening to Goliath’s frightening rants, David went down in the valley and faced him. So that’s where we start.
- Face the giant – Acknowledge and confess our jealousy to God. Personal integrity means Jealousy is not ok. It’s one of the works of the flesh that will entangle and entrap us. As we check our lives to see if there is any jealousy in our hearts, we may have to do some reflecting, because it can look like something else at first, masquerading as fear, anger, sadness and other emotions. We have to look for it and deal with it.
- Pray for wisdom and look for the root of the jealousy. Knowing and facing the truth is the beginning of freedom. Then, ask God for help with it and believe he will. The bible says where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Cor. 3:17)
- David’s freedom came from his trust in God. He didn’t fight the traditional way, he tried on the Kings armor and sword, but they were too heavy for him, so he went with the things that were natural for him and trusted in the power of God. He only needed one stone because he didn’t beat the giant, God did. He had really won the battle before he even set foot in the valley. It was his trust that helped him see things in the right perspective and gave him victory that day.
- The next tool we have for defeating jealousy is love love. And, the apostle John said, “Perfect love casts out fear.” What does perfect love look like? To begin with, God says that love is not jealous (1Cor 13:4) so when we sense jealousy, we have to assess where our love is focused.
- God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. (1John 4:17-18)
The spirit Jealousy seeks to lead us away from our devotion to God.
But, Paul says, “When we live life God’s way, he brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. (Gal 5:22-23 The Message)
And God promises to keep in perfect peace those who trust in him, whose thoughts are fixed on him… (Is. 26:3-4 NLT)
So, fix your thoughts on the one you can trust and may you say with the Psalmist, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever…I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me, so I will not be afraid…for he is my helper…I will take refuge in the one I can trust and one day look in triumph on my enemies…” (from Psalm 118: 1; 5-8)
LETS PRAY: Dear Lord, thank you for giving us a book full of stories of people who went through things like we do and for showing us how to handle them. All of us have been confronted by jealousy, either ours or someone else’s at some point. I pray for those who are experiencing jealousy today. Please come along side them and battle on their behalf. Help us of us to come to you this morning really trusting you. We want to trust you with the people we love, with the things matter to us, with the jobs or opportunities that lie in front of us. God please be in all of our lives and help us to want only what you want for us and to trust you with all of it. I pray for any here this morning who know what it feels like to be suspicious that someone was going to hurt them and then their suspicions were true. It may be hard for them to trust again and I pray for healing and relief from the anger and anguish. Give us discerning eyes to see all the ways that jealousy might sneak into our lives and become a hindrance to us, our relationships and our faith. May we always be honest with ourselves and with you and have the courage to face our real or perceived threats from a position of perfect love. And may we know the peace and unhindered freedom and that you have called us to. In Jesus name. Amen.
BLESSING: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” (Ps. 37: 4-6 NIV)
[1] Rawls, J. (1971). A Theory of Justice. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Belknap Press of Harvard University Press.